 PLS
"11th Year" Silver Supporting Member
Posts: 1718
Loc: Smyrna, Georgia
Reg: 06-07-12
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11-24-21 11:57 AM - Post#2831399
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?
Happy Thanksgiving!!
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Chevrobert
Valued Contributor
Posts: 3969
Loc: Braintree, Ma. USA
Reg: 06-14-08
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11-25-21 08:58 AM - Post#2831429
In response to PLS
I started to figure it out half way through.
But still cute. 
Bob
'64 Impala SS
'77 Pontiac Ventura SJ
'83 Lincoln Towncar
Ain't to proud to think out loud.
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TAT_2
Site Ambassador - Member #26 - "22st Year" Silver Supporting Member
Posts: 37934
Age: 69
Loc: "UNDER THE BOARDWALK"
Reg: 10-29-00
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11-26-21 08:31 PM - Post#2831472
In response to PLS
GOOD 1
09 PONTIAC- VIBE
08 PONTIAC- G6
93 VETTE - 40TH ANNIV- RUBY RED- LT1/6-SPD/RAG TOP
PREVIOUS VETTE'S 58,68,70,76,78,85,90
QUOTE FROM HELEN
"WHY YOU LOOKING AT THAT? YA KNOW YA WANT ANOTHER VETTE"
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PLS
"11th Year" Silver Supporting Member
Posts: 1718
Loc: Smyrna, Georgia
Reg: 06-07-12
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01-19-22 10:38 AM - Post#2834857
In response to PLS
A rancher was minding his own business when an FBI agent came up to him and said, “We got a tip that you may be growing illegal drugs on the premises. Do you mind if I take a look around?”
The old rancher replied, “That’s fine, you shouldn’t go over there though.” As he pointed at one of his fields.
The FBI agent snapped at him, “I’m am a federal agent! I can go wherever I want!” With that he pulled out his badge and shoved it into the rancher’s face.
The rancher shrugged this off and continued with his daily chores.
About 15 minutes later he heard a loud scream from the field he had pointed out earlier. All of a sudden, he could see the FBI agent sprinting towards him with a large bull on his heels.
The rancher rushed to the fence and yelled to the agent, “Your badge! Show your badge to the bull!”
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PLS
"11th Year" Silver Supporting Member
Posts: 1718
Loc: Smyrna, Georgia
Reg: 06-07-12
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10-04-22 05:17 PM - Post#2848106
In response to PLS
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window.
“I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car,” said the driver.
“No way! Get lost!” replied the boy.
“How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?” the driver asked.
“I said no way,” replied the boy.
“What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?” asked the driver.
“No, I’m not getting in the car,” answered the boy.
“Okay, I’ll give you a bag of M&Ms and 100 dollars,” the driver offered.
“No!” replied the boy. “What will it take to get you in the car?” asked the driver.
The boy replied: “Listen, Dad: You bought the Ford-you live with it!”
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