Gain extra benefits by becoming a Supporting Member Click here find out how!

Classic Performance Products Classic Parts
American Auto Wire Classic Industries
Danchuk Catalog
Hellwig Products IncPerformance Rod & CustomNu-Relics Power Windows



Username Post: A lawyer died        (Topic#358011)
grumpyvette 
Senior Chevytalk Moderator -- Performance Subject Matter Expert --
Posts: 17403
grumpyvette
Age: 71
Loc: FLORIDA USA
Reg: 03-16-01
09-10-19 09:28 AM - Post#2775256    

A lawyer died and was met by St. Peter at the pearly gates.
st peter says. Im sorry for the oversite, we seldom make mistakes,
but somehow your case fell through the cracks,
and was lost.. your time was destined to be up at age 78....
“There must be some mistake,” the lawyer complained.
“Why is that?” asked St. Peter...

“Because I’m only forty-two years old!” exclaimed the lawyer.

,Oh, that can,t be true,...stated St. Peter...

when we found the error in our records We verified it a dozen times to be very sure...
I had several of the angels cross-check several times,
even your own records verify we are correct!
“Oh? we even checked your checking account,
and your work records ,and
According to your clients billed hours,
you are 117 years old


IF YOU CAN,T SMOKE THE TIRES AT WILL,FROM A 60 MPH ROLLING START YOUR ENGINE NEEDS MORE WORK!!"!
IF YOU CAN , YOU NEED BETTER TIRES AND YOUR SUSPENSION NEEDS MORE WORK!!


Edited by grumpyvette on 09-10-19 01:20 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.

 


2blu52 
"18th Year" Silver Supporting Member
Posts: 19029
2blu52
Age: 86
Loc: Montana
Reg: 03-12-02
09-10-19 01:21 PM - Post#2775273    
    In response to grumpyvette

Wow! That is funny. And so true. I have sat in front of more than one attorney's desk had him write name time and date down on a tablet and then answer the phone and do the same, never did see one who stopped the clock on the first entry.

"PEACE IS THAT GLORIOUS MOMENT IN HISTORY WHEN EVERY ONE STANDS AROUND RELOADING"

THOMAS JEFFERSON


 
GregH 
Contributor
Posts: 165
GregH
Reg: 01-25-04
09-10-19 05:22 PM - Post#2775289    
    In response to grumpyvette

Similar joke. A woman dies and is met by St Peter who says a mistake was made and that she was not due for another 30 years. They decided to send her back...Having the knowledge that she had another 30 years to live, she booked a full barrage of cosmetic surgeries. Face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, the whole works...She was leaving the doctor's office and stepped out the door to be hit and killed by a bus. She told St. Peter, I thought you said I had another 30 years to which he replied, "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you".



 
56sedandelivery 
Dedicated Member
Posts: 5688
56sedandelivery
Age: 68
Loc: Everett, Wa.
Reg: 02-26-08
09-11-19 12:15 AM - Post#2775311    
    In response to GregH

I had a dream where I died, went to heaven, and was met at the pearly gates by St Peter. He said welcome to heaven Butch, we're glad you're here. He then proceeded to give me a harp, halo, white robe and sandals, and then we started on a tour; the tour started out at this huge building. Inside were nothing but tables with clocks on them, all the clocks had different times, occasionally one would "go off" and start ringing, and once in a while, a clock would speed up, and the hands would go around very fast. I asked what the deal was with the ringing; St. Peter said everyone on earth has a clock with the time they're to come to heaven, that's what the ringing is about, and the same thing happened to you; when your clock goes off, you come to heaven. When I asked about the clocks that were spinning really fast, he told me that the person who that clock belongs to is masturbating, and when you masturbate, you lose a day of life, and the clock speeds up to take up the slack. I started looking more intently at the clocks to find clocks belonging to friends and family. I found my older sisters clock, and she's going to be around for a long time. My younger sister does't really have much time left. I kept looking for my good friend Larry's clock, and St. Peter asked me who I was looking for. I told him my good friend Larry, who happens to deal in 55-57 Chevrolet cars AND parts (he really does!). St. Peter says, OH!!!, Larry's clock, we keep Larry's clock in the office, we use it for a fan.
I am Butch/56sedandelivery.




 


Icon Legend Permissions Topic Options
Report Post

Quote Post

Quick Reply

Print Topic

Email Topic

227 Views
FusionBB
FusionBB™ Version 2.1
©2003-2006 InteractivePHP, Inc.
Execution time: 0.105 seconds.   Total Queries: 17   Zlib Compression is on.
All times are (GMT -0800) Pacific. Current time is 07:08 PM
Top